Saving up to go on Holiday is always a pain in the backside. To induldge a full week of partying every day and night in the sun you must first sacrifice a few of your usual nights on the razz in your home town for a week or two before you go, just to save the pennies....never an easy thing to do, and in my case, it doesnt happen and hasnt happened.

In hope to spread some light on my plummiting financial situation I took a dabble at Ebay and to my delight I earned a whole £5 plus postage and packaging, Ill be sipping on sangria in no time!

Ever since this winning Ebay streak, my entrepenurial ideas have been flocking in...

Ive arranged my next item to be sold on ebay, and will be anticipating the 7 days until its removal. As it stands I have 0 bids, 0 questions and 0 watchers but hey, Rome wasnt built in a day, as they say!

Wandering away from the fleabay black hole, I began to brainstorm even more million making ideas, so heres a few I conjured up earlier for those in a similar situation as myself;

play dress up as gypsys and have a car boot on walton street and watch the asylum seekers flock from miles around to marvel at your medallions :-D

Alternatively buy a few blocks of chalk from jacksons and sell it to kids on the street as crack

Steal toilet roll from work and sell it outside Spiders bogs and Hull University at a bargain rate

Steal food from the fridge and sell it outside clubs for peckish punters -owh Im always craving a dairylea lunchable after welly, arent you?

I also had an epiphany when i was washing my face this morning (believe it or not), all this ebay malarkey gave me a thought. People would pay tens of pounds to buy useless things on ebay so heres my proposal... FOR SALE, 1 soul, near to neat condition, 1 previous owner, has an occasional wild side...BUY NOW for £80....what do you think?

Other useless things that i considered putting up for auction were;

my mother - 1 previous owner, house trained, cooks, cleans with an occasional bad temper, BUY NOW for £120,

my liver - 2nd hand, takes a good beating, ideal for the average Joe alcoholic BUY NOW for...£25

my aura - Surround yourself in this permanent daze for just £20

my innner self- personality, knowledge and generosity included, 2nd hand, tends to need waking up ow and again....BUY NOW .... £30

my energy - Not reccomended for the faint hearted, will only work from 12pm onwards...BUY NOW for £45

and my virginity,

what do you think? I reckon its a win win situation.

I also thought about hiring a DJ and holding a club night in my bedroom once a month, 5 pound entry, £4 b4 11pm, id tidy up first of course..... Ill get the flyers on the go

Christian Hardcore is always bound to be a sell out, but I wouldnt wanna wreck the place so i think im gonna go with Bollywood trance

I might even splash out and buy a disco ball from argos, failing that i think ive got an old lava lamp in the loft, reckon thatll do?

or if you want you can be on lightswitch duties, on off on off on off on off on off on off on off on off - to give it that strobe effect

haha sounds like a right rave up!!

How much for your virginity????

Im open to offers!

Still up for that rave slypanda?

Hire Ringsides gig venue for free.

Pay the soundman £50 for the night.

Get bands together.

Charge an entry fee.

Jobs a gud un.