Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, I dont feel like it, I just want you to hold me.

I said, WHAT??!! What was that?!

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

Youre just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, Cant you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldnt decide which one to take, so I told her wed just buy them all.. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, Lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesnt even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, Thats fine, honey. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier.

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No honey, I dont feel like it.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, WHAT?

I then said, Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
Youre just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why cant you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?

Apparently Im not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows Im smarter than her.